Beyond Standards: How to Reconnect with the Heart of Teaching

Teaching. It’s one of the most rewarding and challenging careers you could choose. I got into teaching to see the light in their little eyes go on when they finally get it, to be part of who they become and make a positive impact on what comes next. But somewhere between lesson planning, standardized tests, and impressing administration, it’s easy to lose sight of what really matters: the connection with your students.

In those early years, connection drove my teaching. I didn’t feel the pressure from administration or the need to impress my peers. My priority was creating a classroom culture where every student felt seen and loved. Little rituals like having my students shake hands with each other every morning—simple, but it set the tone for respect. We made a morning greeting song using all of the languages in the room and participated in talking circles to help eliminate tension and drama, allowing us to really hear each other. These practices were the heart of my teaching. They ignited my passion for making meaningful connections with my students, and I was fueled by the bond that we shared.

But then, something changed.

As I began to establish myself in the school, I started putting pressure on myself to meet all the district standards. I wanted to be seen at a higher level—not just by my students, but by my peers and administration. My ego crept in. Suddenly, the focus shifted to meeting all the outcomes and impressing those who were evaluating my work. In the process, the very practices that made my classroom feel like a community—the handshakes, the songs, the talking circles—started to fall by the wayside.

After my first two years of teaching, I would recieve random letters or emails from past students about their time in my class, the impact that it made and how they wouldn't forget it. The more established I became, the less I was seeing those letters. Of course connection was still important to me as a teacher, but it certainly was no longer intentionally embedded into our daily rituals.

Reflecting back, I think this first started to change when I invited my principal to one of our talking circles. This year, this group of students, was particularly emotional. Almost every transition someone was coming up to me complaining about drama that had stirred up with a friend. I had started talking circles to address this and had experienced a break through with all of them. When I asked them to raise their hands if they had felt hurt by someone in the room, they all raised their hands. I then asked if anyone wanted to talk about the situation they were thinking about. No one raised their hand. My last question was, would someone like to apologize to someone in this room for hurting them, within seconds, every student in the room raised their hand. It was such a beautiful moment and pulled us together as a class. During a meeting with my principal, I was sharing this moment and he asked to come and observe our next talking circle, I was thrilled. The problem was, trying to recreate this situation for an observer who I was trying to impress broke the authenticity and the talking circle he attended quickly turned into a tattle telling circle, so much so that he intervened to break it up.

Humiliated by the unfolding of events, I felt in that moment as if I had created a culture in my room that was allowing drama and potentially even creating it. That was when I began to pull away from those authentic, connection building moments and moved to rituals that were curricular focused and driven. I drew away from how my heart wanted to be in my classroom and started to develop a self that I believed I should be. I wanted to create a predictable and stable environment so that no future mentor would have to intervene in my classroom again.

Reconnecting with the Heart of Teaching

I’ve learned that it’s easy to get lost in the weeds of standards and evaluations, but the real work of teaching lies in the relationships we build with our students. It’s about being present and creating an authentic space that is true to you and your students, not for anyone else. Here’s how I began to get back to my roots:

1. Prioritize Student Connection Over Compliance

It’s easy to get bogged down by all the things we "should" be doing, but at the end of the day, what students remember isn’t the outcome of every standard—they remember how they felt in your classroom. Remember the power of small gestures.

In those early years, I focused on creating a welcoming, safe space for my students. When I let go of the pressure to perform for others and started focusing on what truly mattered to me—building relationships—I noticed a huge shift in my teaching.

Things that I started to bring back into my classroom with intention:

• Morning greetings - standing at the door and verbally greeting each student by name

• Goodbye dance parties - standing at the door and dancing the class out of the room

• Happy Mail - choosing one student each day to give a shout out card to that they could bring home to show their parents followed by a class chant of "we are proud of you, yes we are proud of you clap, clap, clap"

• Student spotlight - each week one student was chosen and them and their families would create a video and picture slide show to teach us about who they are and what they are proud of

2. Make Your Classroom a Reflection of Your Values

The handshakes, the greeting songs, the talking circles—they weren’t just cute ideas. They were ways for me to instill respect, inclusivity, and emotional safety in the classroom. When I made those moments a priority, my students thrived; not just emotionally but academically as well.

We can’t do it all, but we can bring our authentic selves into our teaching. Don’t be afraid to incorporate those small, personal rituals that feel right to you. It is okay if it takes away some curricular time to bring these moments in because these rituals will begin to coincide with students engagement and resilience within their learning. In the beginning the two things may feel separate but they are actually intertwined.

An important aspect that I need to remind myself of everyday and push myself to do is lead by example. I Your students see you, they see how you talk to others or about others, they see your energy and the way you carry yourself through the halls. The values that you expect from your students have to begin with you.

3. Let Go of Perfectionism

We all want to do things well, but in the pursuit of perfection, it’s easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. The reality is, no matter how hard you try to meet every district standard or make an amazing impression during every observation, you’ll never feel like you’ve checked every box.

That’s okay. It’s not about doing everything perfectly. It’s about being present for your students, acknowledging their needs, and adjusting as you go. Give yourself permission to focus on what you love about teaching, and the standards will follow.

I wish I could go back to my first year teaching self after that observation with my principal and simply talk about it. Where did it start to turn? What can you do differently? Have you looked into how other educators conduct talking circles for this age group? Emotionally, what can they handle at this age? What is too heavy for them? If I had sat in the moment and asked questions, maybe I wouldn't have pulled away from such an important part of who I felt I was as a teacher.

Ponder This:

We would love for you to share your answers in the comments or simply take a moment to reflect yourself:

• What small moments of connection could you bring back into your classroom today?

• What’s one way you can focus on being more present with your students?

• Was there a moment in your career that made you pull away from authenticity?

• Name 3 students in your class that you will intentionally notice tomorrow

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